I don't normally get into too many personal things on this group, but I consider you my family and wanted to share an experience that I had this week during the Triumph in the Rockies. If you don't know me, you can delete this email. :)
First, I am safely back home, physically at least. However, during the trip, i experienced a set of extended panic attacks that started on the second day of the trip and lasted until I got home. These attacks manifested themselves in what I call an "endless loop" of one bad thought and nothing else...in this case, of crashing and killing myself, followed by the realization that I have to give up motorcycling if I make it back home in one piece. If any of you were on any part of a ride with me, you may have noticed I was a bit "off" (ok, more "off" than usual :) ), and it was related to this.
I hesitated in sending something to this group, but realized that part of my "loop" was having to face the embarrassment of what happened to me. I figured the best way to face that part of the fear was to get it out there in the open. I also wanted to ask for your prayers (if you believe or don't believe in any kind of deity) as I work through this. At this time, I am pretty shaken up and I don't know really know what's next...I will take it one day at a time.
It was great seeing many of you this weekend and I do hope I will be able to get back on a motorcycle soon. For now though, my well being is top priority and I have to do some soul searching to understand why this happened.
Thanks for listening!
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